Sunday, February 28, 2016

Oscars 2016 -- The Awards

Best Original Screenplay 


We've renamed this category "Gifted Hands".  Not so much for the talented writers who produce this material, but rather for Doctor Ben.  In a category that always contains a few "sleepers", the good doctor is always on our minds.





  • Bridge of Spies
    • Well done, particularly so because you know the major plot points going in.  
  • Spotlight
    • Another "basics known" storyline, but the revelations (biblical reference accidental, but happily noted) about how the story unfolded and the Globe's handling of it were brilliant.
  • Ex Machina
    • I LOVED this movie.  Quite a clever plot and believe it should (but won't) win something.  And this has NOTHING to do with Alicia Vikander.  Nothing at all.  Jennifer who?
  • Inside Out
    • Biased by our official capacity as mediocre middle class parents, this is our sentimental choice.  It doesn't win -- the idea is they're thrilled to be there (which is what Vicky Craig said to me in 1977 -- I know, Vicky.  Know ya lied!)
  • Straight Outta Compton
    • The guilt felt by the old, white men who nominated only....nah.  No way those closet-Trump-supporters even saw this one.  'Shame, because this was one of our big sleepers this year.  We expected nothing and received tons.
Hope Springs Eternal

Best Adapted Screenplay


My wife said "'The Big Short' was based on a book?  So what do they get an Oscar for?!?" She has a point.  Some people will want to make a Socialism joke right here.  For me, it was more reminiscent of how most of the people who've ever worked for me must've felt.  Let's concentrate our focus on:
  • The Martian
    • They'd have to cut the statue in half and give 6.5" of it to the Cuarons, because this be Gravity, 2: Red Planet Farmer.     
  • Carol
    • We didn't see it.  Not because we didn't want to (or because Donna has a sister who is a giant....LOVELY, lovely human being.  Why oh why did I tell these people the URL to these pages?)  
  • The Big Short
    • Winner, winner, economy-wrecking-chicken-dinner!  Like Too Big to Fail, you have to be prepared to be sick to your stomach as it causes you to relive the Global Financial Crisis of 2008 and also because you come away with some clarity.
  • Room
    • Several people commented that they couldn't watch this because of the subject matter (a sexual slave kidnapping), but honestly, it's more touching than disturbing.  Absolutely loved both the writing and the acting.  Doubt it can win anything (maybe Best Actress), but brilliantly done.  Highly recommended.
  • Brooklyn
    • This was a sweet movie that both of us loved.  Nothing earth-shattering, but a well written and realistic human struggle.  No awards, but our eternal praise (unlike the actual Brooklyn).  
    Best Picture 
    • The Revenant
      • Tough movie.  Great movie, but exhausting.  Haven't felt this way since There Will Be Blood (or since I managed a group of hipster technology architects).  You can't watch this one again.  Does that matter?  


    • Mad Max: Fury Road
      • Um...what?  Listen -- I'm a big fan of action movies.  And post-apocalyptic action movies.  I enjoyed The Road (but see the Daffy warning above on that one) and am addicted to The Walking Dead.  But Best Picture for Fury Road?!?  Did people just get overwhelmed with the fact that there was a genuine, discernible plot in a Mad Max movie?  Tickled to nominated-state because Mel Gibson didn't even make a cameo?  There hasn't been this big a surprise since Marisa Tomei was nominated for My Cousin Vinny (and, well, see below...of course that was before Jennifer who was before Alicia...)

    • The Martian
      • I'm much more supportive, here, than in the writing category because, well, plagiarism.  Highly entertaining movie.  Don't get why Matt Damon was considered a comedic actor.  If that's the case, then Tom Hardy should be nominated for a comedy award, too.  No win, though -- too soon since Sandra Bullock was stranded in space.  Now if THIS guy made a cameo...


      • Bridge Of Spies
        • I'm a sucker for a Cold War story.  Even have a piece of the Berlin Wall in my room (thanks, Michael).  Maybe it was an easier-to-understand world.  We had all of our facts wrong and miscalculated all over the place, but it made for sound bites you could consume (or, I was 12...one of those).  Good movie, great props to Mark Rylance (also funnier than Damon in Martian Farmer), but no awards.
      • Spotlight
        • Tough movie for a different reason.  I used to make the standard "hey, I was an altar boy and had breakfast with the Father at the rectory every morning.  What, I was too chubby for him?" joke all the time.  This is a reminder that this particular joke isn't funny.  Too far-reaching a scandal, too disappointing a cover-up, too late to fix it.  Hoping for a win or two here (and Ruffalo was incredible).
      • The Big Short
        • Another upsetting (albeit for a very different reason) movie.  Challenging to root for because you have a great guy (Steve Carrell) opposite a completely typical Hollywood asshole (Christian Bale).  But separating the work from the man (as we so often have to do), both were amazing (and Ryan Gosling could easily have been nominated, too -- also funnier than Damon in Martian Dirt Farmer.  Come to think of it, two of our three kids are also funnier than Damon in God's Green Gravity Earth...I mean Mars).  This should win.  But I think some of the old white men voting think the bear is real and will know if they voted for him or not.  HEY, OLD MEN: THAT'S THE GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY YOU'RE THINKING OF.  NOT THE CGI BEAR.  VOTE FOR...oh, crap, they aren't listening.  It's Viagra time.
      • Room
        • Brillian, clever, touching, tense.  What else do you want?  Oh, ok -- if they blew up the house at the end you'd like it.  Time to take your meds.
      • Brooklyn
        • Hey!  A movie with just a story about people.  Believable people who you root for (and against).  A plot without a killer twist or special effect or nested dream sequences.  No wins (except maybe Saorise) but so glad to see Hollywood producing this kind of stuff again.

      Acting

      Some great performances this year.  Here are our choices:

      Best Actress

      Jennifer Lawrence did not deserve a nomination here (sorry, sweetheart...but I haven't felt the same about you since American Hustle.  No it does NOT have anything to do with Alicia Vikander.  Well, not...NO.  Nothing to do with her.)  Saorise Ronan was brilliant and sympathetic in Brooklyn.  She'll be back for statues in the future.  This year, Brie Larson wins for Room.  You believed her in a very tough role.  Brie wins (and I get points for passing on the very obvious cheese jokes).

      Best Actor

      Cranston and Redmayne both had roles that could've gotten them an Oscar, but they phoned in their performances (and I'm a fan of both).  They'll rebound.  But Redmayne probably thought he had a lock with an historic role about possibly the first transgendered person.  As Bob Ueuker used to say, "Swiiing...and a miss."

      I was most impressed with Fassbender as Steve Jobs.  We all know the character very well and fully expected the "genius, but an asshole" approach.  But Fassbender gave him real depth.  I wish he would win, but Alejandro Inarittu decided to treat Leonardo DiCaprio like shit for 4 months so he'd get his first-ever statue.  Leo was good, but Tom Hardy way overshadowed his acting in Revenant.  And it's hard to root for anything associated with Inarittu as he allegedly makes Christian Bale look like Mother Theresa.  Leo wins, but I'm not happy about it.  .

      Best Supporting Actress.

      Vikander and McAdams both gave great performances in their respective films, but Winslet was awesome (and, again, not a personal fan).  We didn't even know it was her for the first few minutes of her scenes!  This one's a lock.

      Best Supporting Actor

      THE most competitive category this year.  All 4 of the losers (Hardy, Rylance, Ruffalo, Bale) would win in any other year.  They were all magnificent and in all 4 cases, overshadowed the actual stars of their films.  But the sentimental choice will be Sylvester Stallone for Rocky Balboa in Creed.  It's a shame his award will be a little tainted by the lack of nominations of black people (including Michael B. Jordan as Apollo's son, Adonis) but Sly deserves it.  He was actually great!

      And, still my favorite awards show moment of all-time.  This is one white person we want to keep around...and around:


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