The Oscars 2020

The Oscars -- 2020  "Little Women Explains World (aka You Really Should've Paid Attention in High School English)"

The older I get, the more I appreciate the parallels in great literature to the travails of our lives.  Maybe this "older" bit is why all of the nuns who taught me English were centenarians.
Little Women is 152 years old (just a few years older than Sister Grace Pierre, who thought less of me because I laughed when Drew Bernard said "Did Melville REALLY need 42 chapters on whale blubber to tell this story?!?"), but it is quite relevant to our times -- thus the Greta Gerwig remake (plus: new ideas?  Ain't nobody got no time for that.  See what I did there?)

The lead protagonist, Jo, is a highly intelligent, powerful woman who just can't get anyone to love her.

The oldest sister is beautiful, vapid and superficial. 

Beth is the most talented of the lot, but frail physically and her death would cause MASSIVE repercussions.

And Amy, the youngest, is aesthetically pleasing but otherwise completely useless. 

The inescapable "woman problem".  

We refuse to pass an Equal Rights Amendment; there's no way we're ready to elect one President; and, while some have skills, most of us just don't know the right way to talk to a woman.

The breakdown of traditional gender roles.

"I'd rather be a free spinster and paddle my own canoe."  I'm sure, given our national addiction to umbrage, that there are complaints about the use of the word 'spinster' and, in a Gitche Gumee Gotcha sort-of-way, the mention of a canoe by a white woman...but it's great to see a 19th century character embracing 21st century ideas.  Give the word-police shit a rest, people.

And, we're smack in the middle of a Civil War.

Let's get to the hostless content:

The Awards

Actor in a Leading Role

The two "Leading" categories are the most boring this year, with the two characters born of abuse a virtual lock to win.

• Antonio Banderas, Pain and Glory
• You'd think I'd be rooting for AB given some of his timeless movie quotes (e.g., "How can you be a receiver of the wedgies, when you are clearly not a wearer of the underpants?" from Shrek)  but I also can't keep him separated from Inigo Montoya, which is oddly racist of me, since the other character is portrayed by a Russian/Polish descendant.  I'm not as evolved as you'd think...or I'd hope.
• Leonardo Di Caprio, Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood
• Brilliant performance in an incredibly memorable and clever movie, but he's overshadowed by Brad Pitt, Emile Hirsch, Dakota Fanning, Bruce Dern, Mike Moh, Luke Perry, Damian Lewis, the spectre of Charles Manson and the gender-fluid caterer at the craft services truck.
• Adam Driver, Marriage Story
• Really well acted in a mediocre re-make/mix of Kramer vs. Kramer, but I'm developing a hang-up here.  Not that I have anywhere near this level of talent...but I was led to believe my major miss was that I was aesthetically below-the-bar.  Then Mr. Facial Birthmark comes along...well, at least I understand the game now.
• Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
• This is a scary dude putting up a scary-serious performance.  No way he doesn't win; no way anyone likes this actor any better going forward.
• Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes
• JP was honest enough to admit that he was cast as Pope "WherehaveyoubeenallofmyCatholicism?" because they look remarkably alike.  But he gives a killer performance that wins in a non-Joker year. 

Actress in a Leading Role

• Cynthia Erivo, Harriet
• She would've been the youngest EGOT ever if she hadn't appeared in a really weak movie (unleash the anti-racism Kraken) and competed in a year that included Zellweger's crazy-scary reincarnation of Judy.
• Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story
• The big story here is that this is not even Scarlett Johansson's best performance this year!  See below for where she had a bigger impact.
• Saorise Ronan, Little Women
• No predictable unpronounceable Irish name jokes here...though it took some surprising discipline.  Another great performance in a movie with a great cast.
• Charlize Theron, Bombshell
• Does she deserve to win because she looks and sounds exactly like someone we all know?  Well, she going to lose to someone doing the same, because the award goes to:
• Renee Zellweger, Judy
• A scary-good portrayal of one of the 20th-century's most famous people in her infamous demise.  This is a lock, despite crazy-ass Liza Minnelli's upset at not being consulted.  This is a win you can take to the bank. 

Actor in a Supporting Role

• Tom Hanks, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
• Hanks is more reliable than the weather (thanks, Koch-douches).  This was a beautiful movie, even for people who look at Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood as saccharin-sweet.
• Anthony Hopkins, The Two Popes
• Another great portrayal by a crazy-talented actor.  Shocking that he topped his all-time demon...a serial-killing cannibal.  Or, maybe not so shocking.
• Al Pacino, The Irishman
• This beyond-category talent showed up with a characterization we didn't see coming.  Should be another piece of hardware for Michael Corleone's mantel here.
• Joe Pesci, The Irishman
• Love the actor, enjoyed the movie.  As my non-Irish in-laws would say "Ooh gotz".
• Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood
• He's favored here, but is it because he's old enough now that we're sympathetic to him (and mournful of the life of a too-beautiful man after years of abuse by intellectually superior women like Angelina and Jennifer?)  He might-could win (sorry...in my attempt to live outside my bubble, I have not learned if some of these middle-'merica phrases are hyphenated or not), but this is not my choice.

Actress in a Supporting Role

• Kathy Bates, Richard Jewell
• Yet another angry-white-man movie from Clint Eastwood?  Love Kathy, but no white-redemption trophy this year.
• Laura Dern, Marriage Story
• She is one of a handful who appeared in multiple nominated movies.  Perhaps this is her way of making up for Vice Admiral Holdo.  
  
• Scarlett Johansson, Jojo Rabbit
• Her better performance of the two noms in a GREAT movie.  Worried she'll go down to the spot-on mimicry of Megyn Kelly (she of bleeding from wherever fame), but would be my choice.
• Florence Pugh, Little Women
• I loved this book, enjoyed this movie and did not agree with this nomination.  
• Margot Robbie, Bombshell
• She's good, but Loudest Voice was better overall.

Documentary

I always think these are underappreciated, given many of the fine moments we've had in education and social commentary.  Please ignore a particular first-family's participation in the development of the favorite to win and do take some time to watch:

• American Factory, and
• For Sama

at a minimum.  You'll be glad you did.  

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

• Steven Zaillian, The Irishman
• I'm conflicted here (and not just because my wife is stridently opposed to the "clearly-not-Irish-guy-playing-the-Irish-guy").  I thoroughly enjoyed this, but was it just because it was a longer version of the same movie I enjoyed 20 years ago?
• Taika Waititi, Jojo Rabbit
• Who IS this guy?!?  I was roaring during every scene he was in (and he had to direct dressed as Hitler -- lots of kudos to go around here, after the haters point out that what I just said was anti-Semitic and sure to bring about the Fourth Reich).  My favorite Kiwi since FotC.
• Todd Phillips &; Scott Silver, Joker
• I'm a big fan of the back-story, and this is a good one.  To avoid the predictable "he was bullied, therefore, sadistic criminal" storyline, these gentlemen wrote in ambiguity -- did it happen?  Is it happening?  Was it lifted entirely from King of Comedy?
• Greta Gerwig, Little Women
• A classic book, tweaked to include a couple of break-the-fourth-wall moments?  Love ya, Greta...but nothin' here.
• Anthony McCarten, The Two Popes
• This was a huge surprise.  I followed the scandal and unprecedented "Popemeritus" thing, but still learned a lot from the movie.  In a non-Jojo-year, this'd be the winner.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

• Rian Johnson, Knives Out
• Clever, but stuff you've seen before in the "funny-murder-mystery" stock.  Daniel Craig's performance took the whole movie up a notch or two.  Do not miss watching this, but do not hold out hope for an Oscar.
• Noah Bambauch, Marriage Story
• Kramer vs. Kramer.  I didn't feel good after watching that movie, so why would I feel good about watching it again with different actors?
• Sam Mendes & Krysty Wilson-Cairns, 1917
• Unclear why we all know so much less about World War I than II, so grateful for an entry like this.  Mendes allegedly wrote this about his grandfather's experience -- I guess my grandfather's movie would be Schmidt's...the Working Pollack's Local Brew.
• Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood
• I clapped when this ended.  One legitimate complaint: if you didn't know the detailed history of the Manson Family murders, you'd miss what QT did with the ending.  I got it...my wife got it...but our kids would not have known.  That's enough for me to say "sorry, Quentin".
• Bong Joon Ho & Han Jin Won, Parasite
• The complaints: predictable; on-the-money.  My wife's review: "finally...a foreign-language film that's predictable and on-the-money!"  This is the winner.

Best Picture

• Ford v. Ferrari
• I'm not a car-guy, but if you are, this is erection-spurring stuff.  Even if the Springsteen lyrics about engine blocks pass you by, this is a gripping movie.  Dickhead Supreme Christian Bale's performance alone is worth the price of admission.  
• The Irishman
• I liked it.  I loved Pacino's performance.  But let's be honest: it's Goodfella's x 1.30.  That's really it.  Sorry, boyz.
• Jojo Rabbit
• This is a MARVELOUS surprise.  Expecting some PC noise about funny Hitler, but otherwise a brilliant, clever WW II film.  I wish this would win, but it's not going to be higher than 3rd in the voting (unless the people from the Iowa Democratic Party are counting the votes, in which case it could tie for first or finish in the Falkand Islands).
• Joker
• I love me a backstory movie.  I also enjoy a "whaaaat-really-happened" story.  Unfortunately, my wife does not.  And she brings me down.
• Little Women
• This was a great book that has already made several good movies.  This is in that category -- good...not great.
• Marriage Story
• The custody-observer scene was riveting.  Adam Driver's improved cabaret song was a pleasant surprise.  The rest was Kramer vs. Kramer.  Sorry.  It really was.
• 1917
• The best part wasn't the technical "film as one continuous scene" approach.  It was a deeply human, deeply disturbing drama about a brutal war we know far too little about, given it was part of our grandparents or great-grandparents' lives.  It will win, though it's not my first or second choice.
• Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood
• LOVED this thing -- though it has a classic QT flaw: you have to know the details of the what the Manson Family pulled off in 1969 to understand what he did with this story (and the title).  It seems like a small flaw, but it's fatal when it comes to "best" anything.
• Parasite
• Spectacular movie, particularly given the Korean language/English subtitles that usually sends my wife to Seinfeld reruns.  It will win Foreign Language Film.  It will not win Best Picture, but deserved consideration. 

Now on to the program.  Be comforted, dear soul!  There is always light behind the clouds.