Muldoon Maladies: Humble Pie

Muldoon Maladies: Humble Pie

Humble Pie

For those of you worrying that I am not being kept in line, here are some verbatim quotes from my lovely wife this morning in a "before the coffee is done" conversation:

He: I'm sorry we don't have more money.
She: We've always had problems.

....

He: I'm sorry, but I feel a little like you're attacking me.
She: That's not true. If I wanted to attack you, there are a million things I could bring up.

...

He: {referring to Hugh Grant who happens to appear on the television} Wow, good looking, rich and witty. There you go.
She: No, I'm not interested in any of those things.

25 Random Things About Me

This is from a Facebook exercise that I, at first, found silly then grew to respect because it caused me to spend some time being introspective. Posting it here so it is preserved.

1) I think this is the most narcissistic exercise ever (but, of course, being a disciple of Narcissus, I love it)

2) I am an oenophile. I am fascinated by the process and the multitude of variations in wine. I am also not as good at tasting and identifying different types of wines as I would have people believe.

3) I love the art of cooking (and the subsequent consumption that follows). I am intensely disappointed that we are losing interest in cooking in this country. We love cooking SHOWS, however…which leads me to:

4) Television. I watch far too much of it and refuse to give it up. If you don’t have Tivo, however, you are not watching television 21st century style. Get with the program, people.

5) I love movies, but because I have never been with a partner who shares this passion, I only go see them in January and February in a mad scramble to see every Oscar-nominated film before the award show airs. Weird, I’m aware.

6) I am a master at Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit. Intellectually, I would prefer to be a master chess player, but I am too lazy to put in the required effort to learn that game well.

7) I think the worst abomination created by man is organized religion. Never have so many lives been lost over so many lies created in an attempt to control people. Truly wish people would stop worrying about upsetting their mothers and be rational.

8) Strange things stick with me (my grandmother telling me to “shut up” during a bingo game in Wisconsin; my 2nd grade teacher telling me I didn’t know how to sweep properly; Mr. Yaeger telling me to see him after class in high school; the look on Mary’s face when she said “I love you” and I said “Thanks.”)

9) I am a voracious reader, working at least 3 books at a time and reading in odd places (standing on a subway, in the bathroom), but I don’t read as fast as I’d like.

10) I am a closeted Howard Stern fan. I hate it when he makes fun of people with Downs Syndrome (in fact, I turn it off…don’t think they’re fair targets) but love it when he makes fun of narcissistic celebrities and politicians. Many people don’t realize that much of his material is of the “joke’s on you” nature, ala Stephen Colbert on the Colbert Report.

11) I wish I was a full-time musician. Somewhere along the way, I fell into the “money is important” game and let my true passion drift into hobby status. Shame on me.

12) Politics is broken in this country and it’s the electorate’s fault. We are a bunch of sheep who accept “wisdom” without asking why (like “socialized medicine is bad”; “government is the problem, not the solution”; “a two-party system is a good thing”; “taxes are always bad and we pay too much”). Until we start thinking for ourselves, we will continue to be disappointed in our elected leaders.

13) Drugs should be legalized. We spend a ridiculous amount of money and lose an unacceptable number of lives for no reason at all. Another area where we’ve got to stop accepting conventional wisdom and start thinking for ourselves.

14) Stupidity abounds. I am consistently disappointed by the lack of critical thinking in the world (see numbers 7, 10, 12 and 13).


15) I have always lied to my wife about other women: I look. I like the way women look (including my wife) and I like to appreciate them.

16) I am a geek. No, really. A carful of beautiful girls looking for a party pulled up in front of our beach house in Wildwood, NJ in 1982 and said “Do you guys have papers?” I said “Papers?!? We’re American citizens, we don’t need any papers!” They drove away. I said “I’ve got a hatchback” as a pickup line once. I have always put attempted humour ahead of sex (thus my limited “portfolio” of experiences).

17) My biggest fear is not being loved. I attribute this to being adopted and having the subconscious resentment of my birth mother giving me up. I have an irrational need to be valued in every situation and react badly when I am not viewed as being special.

18) My biggest regret is not treasuring my friends as I should have. I have always valued the wonderful people in my life (and they have been legion), but I take relationships for granted. If you are reading this, I have not told you often enough or clearly enough how terrific I think you are and how much I value you.

19) I have been most fortunate to play with dozens of musicians who were also quality people. Billy Hill, Tony Debonis, Damian Proulx, Paul Maurer, Scott Matheson, Mike Mourounas, Mark Addeo, Cory Harbour, Skip Bailey, Rob Elinson, John Sheridan, Steve Pasierb, Paul Burns…I could go on and on. Most fortunate.

20) Khaled El-Kadi

is the most complex and interesting person I have ever known. Someday I will tell him he’s my best friend, but it frustrates him so much that I will continue to torture him and withhold that compliment. Which leads me to:

21) Michael Guadagno , who has been my best friend for almost 40 years. I wish I was as smart or as worldly as Michael, but don’t tell him I said that.

22) My children are the only truly “good” thing I’ve ever done. I spend every day trying not to screw them up. I will need to try harder.

23) My wife is a truly special person who is capable of amazing things. She makes me wish I was a better husband.

24) My mother is a gift. She found a way to turn her physical difficulties into a positive for me. Everything good that has ever happened to me emanates from her.

25) My father is Job. He has had every physical difficulty known to man but never complains. When we needed money, he took a second job. When that wasn’t enough, he took a third. When I ask him what he wants for Christmas, he always says the same thing: “Buy something for your mother”. When I stayed out beyond my curfew, he waited up to be sure I was ok. He was so frustrated with my behavior that all he could muster was “What do you….come home…..LATE?!?” I love him and respect him deeply and I will never live up to his example.

2009 Academy Awards

Do the nominated movies match our times intentionally or coincidentally? Of course these films take years from concept to theater, so there is a large portion of chance thrown in, but movies like Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader and Frost/Nixon likely get much more attention in a time of disappointment and hopeful recovery.

I was fortunate enough to see 16 of the nominated films (accounting for 75% of the nominations). This buona fortuna came at the expense of my family (since I'm sitting alone in Denver) but it came in a good year for movies. These films were extraordinarily creative (In Bruges, Benjamin Buttons, Slumdog) and historically well-acted (Doubt, Milk). There was a nice blend of action films with conflicted (and also well-portrayed) characters (Dark Knight, Iron Man), traditional period dramas (The Dutchess, Changeling) and comeback themes (The Wrestler, The Visitor).

I ate too much popcorn, never learned the lesson that my body cannot do a 120+ minute movie and a large diet soda in the same evening, but did learn the lesson that movies nominated for Art Direction or Cinematography are not best seen on an iPod.

Here are my selections (keeping to categories where someone might possibly care what I think...even if I knew anything about Sound Editing, does it merit a debate?!?)
Special FX: Dark Knight. Loved Iron Man, but it was too explosion-centric. Benjamin Buttons was very cool, but it was as much a Directing and Editing triumph as it was effective ILM-type work.
Editing: Slumdog Millionaire. I'm not a large fan of rapid cuts and head-jerking scene changes as they are usually a distraction, but in this case, they added to the intensity of the movie.
Art Direction: Benjamin Buttons. Several good period pieces that had wonderful art direction (The Dutchess, Changeling), but BB got it best.
Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz (Vicky Christina Barcelona). I believed everything about her--that she was a suicidal romantic, that she was sexually curious (I dream this about her in real life) and that she was a true artist. I wanted Marisa Tomei to win, not just because I'm unnaturally obsessed with her, but also because she played a NJ stripper and because she gives me hope that people in their 40s can still have good bodies (alright, so it's false hope...hope spring eternal).
Supporting Actor: Do I have to say his name?!? (Who am I, Springsteen introducing Clarence Clemons at a concer?) Heath Ledger. Even if he didn't die, he'd deserve this award. How many actors can top Jack Nicholson in the same role? Heath did it.
Actress: Meryl Streep. I was convinced Angelina Jolie would win it until I actually saw Doubt. There's no taking it away from her. I suspect Kate Winslet will win, but I was underwhelmed by The Reader (great story, poor directing).
Actor: Frank Langella (Nixon). I know he won't win -- it'll be Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler (and I LOVED him in this role and loved the movie), but truly I thought Langella captured one of the most well-known politicians of all-time. That's nearly impossible. I also want to send kudos to Richard Jenkins (you might know him as the dead father from Six Feet Under). A sublime performance.
Screenplay (Original/Adapted): In Bruges/Slumdog Millionaire. In Bruges was that most wonderful combination of original/funny/dark. If you haven't seen this one, go rent it. Slumdog was just a completely original, gripping and depressing story.
Director: Danny Boyle (Slumdog). I've been to Mumbai 8 times and this movie made me feel like I'd never been there. It also was packaged in a unique way. Expect to see more movies of this ilk in the next 5 years (and many of them will be poor copies).
Picture: Slumdog, not even close.

Now to watch the actual show (Hugh Jackman?!? Please. Isnt' Steve Martin still alive?)