Why would I lead with Screenplay when you wanted a headline on Israel's entry for Foreign Film? Footnote speaks for itself: Joseph Cedar is a brilliant, award-winning director AND it's a comedy...set in Israel. How often do you see those two things abutting one another in a sentence -- comedy...set in Israel? And you have trouble laughing on the days you can't find a good parking space in the rain. Sheesh! Besides...nobody saw this movie. Including me.
The best surprises come from the movies that are nominated here but NOT in the Best Picture category (go back and see In the Loop, In Bruges or one of the other "In" series of films). This year's crop included A Separation (also nominated in Foreign Language Film) and Bridesmaids (aka The Vaghangover).
The Artist (Michael Hazanavicius) -- The official name of the category is "Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen". Good thing. If it was actually called "Original", I'd be connipting right now (I can only assume that's the verb form of conniption).
This story has been a Hollywood cliche since talkies began. A Star is Born. All About Eve. A Star is Born. A Star is Born -- hey, that movie was born so many times it makes virgin birth look like a card trick. It's a good story but a familiar one. VERY familiar. It's gonna win and I'm gonna scream. And no one's gonna care...except the people in my house that I wake up.
Bridesmaids (Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo) -- This film had to get some recognition. We got over "women aren't funny" a long time ago, but this movie is the coronation of crude female humor. Yes, there was Phyllis Diller and then Joan Rivers and Roseann Barr, but the latest generation of female comic aren't just putting their own spin on material their male counterparts did -- they are innovating in ways men can't. Molestation humor, rape humor (yes, I said rape humor...hey, I don't try it, but in more skillful hands -- female hands -- it's been done). Sarah Silverman and Whitney Cummings led the charge, but Wiig and Mumolo put the flag in the top the mountain. No win here, but this is a serious nod to female humor that is just short of a scat film.
Margin Call (J.C. Chandor) -- Clever story and well constructed, but it was really written by the greedy bastards on Wall Street and the politicians they bought. Yeah, Citizens United was a brilliant decision. Expect the plot of Margin Call to be repeated in the future more times than the nobody-starlet-bests-established-but-fading-star tome of The Artist. Unfortunately.
Midnight in Paris (Woody Allen) -- A wonderfully original idea that is thought-provoking, touching and laugh-out-loud funny. I believe this should win, but Woody seems banned from wins since the mess he created with his step daughter. Yet Polanski gets a pass. Both of 'em are despicable guys in their personal life. Guess the problem is that people in Hollywood knew the woman Woody wronged.
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Best Adapted Screenplay
Donna: "Shouldn't this be called 'rewriting'?" Yes, this is the rewriting category.
Hugo (John Logan) -- Logan wrote original stuff for Gladiator and The Aviator (and was nominated for both). This is a beautiful story but, like Avatar, acting and writing are overshadowed by the beauty of the cinematography and technology. No hardware.
The Ides of March (George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon) -- Clooney's all over the place -- acting, directing, in multiple nominated movies. What's left for this guy to do? Sleep with my wife, too?!? Oh..uh...forget I said that.
Moneyball (Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin) -- Cue The Donna: "It's a true story. All they did was write it down." No statue.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (Bridget O'Connor, Peter Straughan) -- Donna's reaction: "zzzzzzzzzzz".
The Descendants (Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon, Jim Rash) -- This is a beautiful story. Complicated, uneven, funny and desperately sad. Just like real life. This is a winner.
Best Picture
This year's crop -- crop?!? Why the agricultural references? A hangover from the Iowa primary? Entirely possible. I haven't been the same since Michelle Bachman deep-throated a corn dog. And in the recurring nightmare, Marcus is lurking somewhere in the dark...probably in the...WAIT FOR IT...closet.
The Academy dropped from 10 to 9 movies this year and there are some clear "second tier" players who clearly don't belong in this division. Think New York Mets.
The Artist -- There were a couple of movies that benefited from our lack of pre-viewing information. The Artist was clearly one of these. Other than knowing it was silent and being hyped for Oscars, we knew nothing of the plot or how it was filmed. So we wound up having our low expectations exceeded (particularly Donna who did NOT want to hear that it was silent). I suspect it will win Best Picture, but I think that's a formulaic/gimmick victory (and the work of Harvey "SuperPAC" Weinstein). The last silent flic baby boomers have seen was made by Mel Brooks. And the story line is a Hollywood cliche (see whining under the "Screenplay" category here). It's gonna win and the rest of us can just hope Harvey doesn't decide that he wants an inanimate carbon rod to run for President.
Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close -- We had some fits and starts with 9/11 related movies (United 93 being the only one of the bunch I liked), so there were high hopes for this one. Then it got pulled from theaters in early February. They must have known I would trash it and couldn't take the abuse. So I didn't go see the movie. It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter what I live. Oh, sorry -- those are Newt's words. Maybe I've been paying a little too much attention to him. Hey, Newt: if we hold up a mirror to show America's getting a little old and ugly and announce that we have some terrible disease, will you drop us for some other country?
The Help -- Wonderful movie with a real chance at a victory. We actually let our girls (ages 11 and nearly 8) watch this. In retrospect, a good idea, particularly during Black History month while living in one of the least diverse places in the country. During the movie? The girls, tears streaming down their faces, said "Why did you make us watch this?!?"
I have heard African American commentators say that this story hurts the cause -- that the real perpetrators weren't nearly this overt, this evil. But for our kids who are a little removed from civil rights struggles, a sledgehammer of a story isn't a bad thing. I would not object if this won, though I suspect it has no chance against the Weinstein SuperPAC.
Hugo -- A very entertaining movie and far more so than Avatar (though I kept waiting for a 3-D Na'vi nip-slip equivalent in the train station...to no avail). Scorcese's first 3-D film and, really, first of this type across the board and he didn't disappoint. A long, complex movie, but overwhelmingly visually rich. It was so beautiful, I was like a 13-year-old boy listening to a lecture by a Mensa member who could easily have been a runway model. Alright, a 49-year-old boy. Didn't hear a thing (except the splat when the drool hit my shoe).
I think it will take all kinds of production awards but nothing in the big categories. Sorry Marty.
Midnight in Paris -- Disclosure: I'm a huge Woody fan. Notice how we got through that sentence with nary an entendre? Yeah, I like to fly without a net. I think Woody Allen's a disgrace as a man, but I watch his movies because he's a good artist, not because he's a role model for my kids. Same logic I keep trying to use on my mother and mother-in-law about Tiger Woods.
The genius of this movie is the obvious premise (once it's presented): so many of us are nostalgic for some earlier time, but isn't it highly likely the people in that time are also nostalgic for some other era as well? A romantic director shows us the silliness of over-romanticization. It's clever without being hipster-ish; stylish without causing me to stain my shoes; and laugh-out-loud funny at points. This will largely be overlooked, but it is one of my favorites of this season. The tell-tale measure: I suspect we'll watch this one over and over through the years. Don't see myself doing that with The Artist...but time will tell (and oh what a better time it will be!)
Moneyball -- Very enjoyable movie. Kids liked it (and thank heavens I showed it to them after The Help!) I'm a huge baseball fan and knew (most of) the facts of the story but still found it entertaining. Was surprised what a constrained (and ultimately unimportant) role Phillip Seymour Hoffman played, but it was a good cast and really well performed. No hardware but a good, repeatable movie.
The Tree of Life -- Made the oldest daughter watch this one. I assumed that seeing a story of a crappy father would improve my standing.
Did the opposite. She was in tears at the end of the movie (it's disturbing, but not a tear-jerker IMHO). I said "What's wrong, Sweetie?!?" "I feel stupid...I didn't understand it. What did the dinosaurs mean?" "They meant that the director wanted to make himself seem smarter than us by confusing us, honey". Cost me $20 in downloads to get out of this mess.
War Horse -- My wife loved this. She is a horse person. I saw the kid get killed riding a horse in Gone with the Wind and, later, Caligula. I'm over horses. But this movie was really good. A true Hollywood epic. The demonstration of its quality -- the coincidences, lucky breaks and other things our Italian friends would call "sfortunato" are unbelievable (and in some cases, predictable) but you don't hold this against the director or writers. And (from the non-equine guy) you grow to accept the horse's personalities. In another year, it takes Best Picture. This is not another year.
The Descendants -- This is my pick for Best Picture of 2012. It ain't gonna win, but I wish it would. The classic example of the benefit of going in uninformed. We saw the same previews you saw (George Clooney popping his head over a hedge, running down a street in flip flops) and thought it was a romp. It's anything but -- and the unexpected darkness of the movie probably made it feel more important to us. But one critic had a great comment that summed up the performances -- when this movie ends, you miss the characters. Wish it would win (and think Clooney has a real shot at the gold...see The People post) but am willing to admit it falls to the Weinstein SuperPAC. Bollux.
The Other Stuff
Art Direction -- Hugo, The Artist, War Horse, Girl w/the Dragon Tatoo, Tree of LifeIf Hugo doesn't win, I'll eat my hat (note that I have said stupid things like this before, so I had a hat made of pate...stinky, but delicious).
Cinematography -- Hugo, The Artist, War Horse, Girl w/the Dragon Tatoo, Tree of Life
{Edible hat joke}
Costumes -- Hugo, The Artist, Anonymous, Jane Eyre, W.E.
Jane Eyre normally wins (they love that old England crap), but nobody saw this version. The Artist takes it. Lots of tuxedos in black and white.
Makeup -- Albert Nobbs, Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows, The Iron Lady
The Iron Lady gets it just for elderly Maggie's makeup. There was close-up after close-up and it was not only flawless, it was Thatcher.
Editing -- The Artist, The Descendants, Hugo, Moneyball, The Girl w/the Dragon Tatoo
I always feel like I'd have to see the unedited version to know who did the best editing. Who has the time (and, besides, the crybabies in Hollywood would make me pay twice). Going with the Tatoo only because I think the movie was a wonderful adaptation of a great book.
Music -- The Artist, Hugo, War Horse, The Adventures of Tin Tin, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
The Artist had dancing, so it will win. John Williams has two entries, so I'd love to see him take it for War Horse but it probably won't happen.
Song -- The Muppets, Rio
Something odd going on here -- neither song is going to be performed. And the Muppets song is by Bret McKenzie. Wonder if the Bret Ratner incident made them gunshy about bringing on another actually funny guy.
Sound Editing, Mixing -- Hugo, Moneyball, War Horse, The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo, Transformers: Dark Moon, Drive
They shoulda called it Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon. Would've rocked.
FX -- Hugo, Harry Potter, Real Steel, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Transformers: Dark Moon
Hugo takes it, but I was impressed with both Real Steel and Rise of the Apes.
I'll post another rant on the people. Reminder: I am not a film critic. This is a hobby intended to make my wife think I'm clever so she forgets how ugly a man she married. It takes effort.
