The Rorschach Cloud
What do you see? Many of you will see a cute bird, flying East, probably singing a song. This might be true, but he's headed right into the compressor of a Pratt & Whitney PW4000 where the pilot won't even notice the shredding because he's talking up a cute stewardess (sorry...flight safety and customer happiness-suppression attendant).
Some of you will see an angel, with full wingspan illuminated by heavenly rays. Possibly. But remember, there are only two real possibilities: 1) there is no god (and thus, no Rorschach angel clouds); or 2) there is a god and she is very disappointed in you. Choose.
There is a bust of Beethoven facing East, but he's pissed because that asshole Mozart got the only movie about a composer that anyone remembers. Well, at least he was played by Pinto.
No, it's actually Casper the Friendly Ghost, flying West, facing down carrying a killer of Old Style. Positive, right? Nope. He's about to be grounded for six months for flying under the influence. (And you thought the pilsner would pour right through his vaporous torso and spill on the ground? That's Ghostbusters, pal...a comedy...with no basis in fact! Sheesh.)
The point is that all of life's swords have two edges. I have stayed with my healthy living program for half a month and feel great. I have lost 7 pounds (and an inch off my waist...but no worries...I am not permitted to take pictures of my body under the Rules of Hope Farm Lane); my energy level is up; my mood is just short of ebullient; and I realize I can continue this fairly easily.
The Other Edge
Da f@#$ was I waiting for. Ugh. My wife and my twisted Catholic background have taught me how to find the dark cloud around any silver lining. So this is the dark message revealed in Movember: I am weak. I could have been maintaining a healthy lifestyle all along. I am capable.I have always had my priorities reversed. Treating myself is a white bread slab 'o processed meat sandwich dripping with mayonnaise (which can be scooped up by potato chips). Being good to myself is sleeping in and having a fatty, nitrite-laden breakfast. Rewarding myself is sitting out back until 2AM with a cigar and a single malt...hmm, that one's gotta stay. Just not every week, 'kay?
Feeling good is a reward unto itself. I accomplish more. I am wittier. I enjoy others more. More of this...Movemb On!**
**- Movemb is a verb. Shut it.
1 comment:
A clarification based on feedback outside the Etherworld: my dark passenger came entirely from my twisted Catholic background. And there is nothing "twisted" about my wife (except that one time she had a copy of the Kama Sutra with a misprint...that one hurt).
Donna is risk averse. That means she can see problems coming before I do. She is usually in a good mood, but believes that part of her role is to ground me (not in the way that she "grounds" our kids -- that would keep me in the house too long, so it's never an option as far as punishments go). Keeping me grounded does include sayings like "things are great now...but just wait".
Donna has a similar background to mine (although her family is far more sane), including 12 years of tenderization at the skilled hands of nuns. So she is not Patient Zero in my disease...just a fellow victim.
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