G: Want to see a movie?
D: How long is it?
We effectively lived apart for two years when I was working in Denver, so when I returned home, we both vowed to be different. For me, it involved putting my family first; doing good works; taking my health far more seriously; consciously working to invest time on the right activities with our children; in short, living an examined life. For my wife, it involved going to a movie in February.
| The 'New' Donna -- Willing to Invest $8 in Our Marriage |
The Academy has decided to stay with 10 nominations for Best Picture, which means Donna has to risk falling asleep during movies like Winter's Bone. The counter is that our kids have now seen 10% of the Best Picture noms -- leaving Deidre to ask about the other 90% and me to my stock answer:
"Ask me again when you're 13"
"What's so magical about 13?!? You always say 13. What happens that's so special when I'm 13?!?"
Some Talmudic wisdom is needed here, followed by a pithy phrase in Yiddish, but I am lacking.
Donna was able to run the gantlet of the Nomination Preparation. So here are my thoughts, along with my first-ever NP partner's reactions to the major category nominations.
Best Original Screenplay
I know, you were on the edge of your seat waiting for my take on the Best Foreign Short Documentary Editing Synchronization category. We'll get to that.
I am always most amused by films nominated in this category but not in Best Picture/Director or other heavy metal categories. These are the sleeper films that I always find myself being most entertained by (possibly due to low expectations, but hey, I'm entertained -- possibly the way you feel going through this blog...at least in terms of low expectations). This year, the only film in this category is Another Year. A delightful film that reminds us that beautiful movies can be made without beautiful people (take that, Brangelina!)
Another Year (Mike Leigh) -- Delightful and charming (Tom and Gerry jokes aside). This is the Vera Drake guy (yeah, I know...the wonderful movie that no one saw). He was nominated for Best Director in 2004 when Scorsese directed The Aviator, Clint Eastwood did Million Dollar Baby and {insert any random name here because they still would've beaten Vera Drake} directed Ray. Still not enough dues paid to win this year. Sorry, bloke!
The Fighter (Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy and Eric The 'Alf-a-Bee Johnson) -- Great film, but Donna said it best: "It's a true story. All they did was write it down." The credit goes to that wacky fighting family for living wacky lives. Sorry.
Inception (Christopher Nolan) -- Mind-bending story where it's nearly impossible to know what's reality and what's only happening in the mind. Never been done before. Completely unique. . No statue here.
The Kids are Alright (Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg) -- Cholodenko is a lesbian writing about a lesbian family. She also wrote for The L Word. Cue the Springsteen song...
The Kings Speech (David Seidler) - It's his first nomination, even though he's 74 years old. He lived through the Blitz in London, his uncle was a stutterer who also went to see the therapist Lionel Logue, and his grandparents survived the Holocaust. Jeez...just hand him the statue and let's move on.
Best Adapted Screenplay
Cue the Donna: "Shouldn't this be called 'rewriting'?" Yes, this is the rewriting category.
127 Hours (Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy) -- The guy who almost died and had to cut his own arm off to live wrote the book, but these guys want to take the statue?!? Did I mention he had to cut his own arm off? F@#$ers.
The Social Network (Aaron Sorkin) -- Yes, it felt like an episode of West Wing, but I loved West Wing. Give the man his little naked junkless gold thing.
Toy Story 3 (Michael Arndt) -- Arndt ain't.
True Grit (The Coen Brothers) -- I loved this version, but they were very true to the original book by Charles Portis. Very un-Coen like. No statue.
Winter's Bone (Debra Granik) -- Donna's reaction: "zzzzzzzzzzz".
Best Picture
The World Series Ring of Oscars (what are the Phillies doing to us -- we're not the Yankees! We don't go into the season expecting...being favored...to win a World Series! This is going to be a tough summer. See, I can't concentrate already.)
The Academy stayed with 10 movies again, as in days of old. And I'm not going to any of them alone, as in days of old. Sort of an entertainment industry stimulus program funded by The Thompsons. You're welcome, greedy bastards.
Black Swan -- Liked it better than I expected to (not a huge Natalie Portman fan -- more criticism of her in the People post). But it had to be about ballet. My mother was a ballerina when she was young and then taught at Carnegie Hall.
G: Mom, how to you get to Carnegie Hall?
M: I took the train, but you could drive depending on the time of day you go. There's probably a bus, too, but I don't know too much about that. Train I used to take out of Trenton. Cost fifty cents. It's more now. I don't know how much. Take the train. If you want to.
[Dorothy Thompson will be appearing a Caroline's Comedy Club every Tuesday during Lent. There's an eight drink minimum, but you may opt to have more.]
But my mother ruined this movie for me. She and one of her lady friends were planning on going to see it. It was about ballet, after all. She even heard they do Swan Lake. Mom did Swan Lake. But I knew there was drug abuse and madness at the center of the story. So we went to see it first. Every cringe-inducing moment made me wonder how mom would react. Then that cute kid from That 70s Show has a lesbian romp wit Natalie Portman. I might as well have been watching that scene in a theater full of nuns with the lights up. Moving right along...
The Fighter -- This was a very enjoyable film. Passed Donna's "true stories are the best movies" test. Heard some public criticism that there were a bunch of people specifically performing with winning an Oscar in mind. So what does that mean? They wanted to give the best performance they could in the hope that a bunch of their peers think it was the best performance of the year? I'm picturing myself at work giving an employee their year-end review:
"Listen, you worked really hard, but maybe too hard. You were actually trying to get the firm's attention and expecting to be recognized as the best because you far exceeded our expectations and helped us make a lot of money. Sorry."
How stupid are film critics? Do you really have to be completely unqualified in everything else in life to be a film critic? Seems so. (Reminder: I am not a film critic. This is a hobby intended to make my wife think I'm clever so she forgets how ugly a man she married).
Inception -- I enjoyed it. I enjoyed The Matrix. I enjoyed seeing The Matrix again...in 2011.....with a different title.
The Kids Are Alright -- This is an expansion nom. Really wonderful, nuanced performances by Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, but this is not a Best Picture delivery. In fact, it doesn't even get the nomination if it wasn't about a modern, two-mommy family. We can be ok w/two-mommy families without falling over ourselves to prove how ok we are with it. Good film, not a great film.
The Kings Speech -- A very entertaining movie which has a great chance of winning (because people keep telling us over and over that it has a great chance of winning). Rush and Firth were amazing and I will certainly watch this again, but I don't picture it being viewed as a classic 20 years on. A very good film, but in much the same way lesbianism-is-just-alright-with-me buoyed BSwan and Kids, the Nazi spectre and British accents are making this film seem smarter than it is (in much the same way I hope people think I'm smarter than I am because I spell colour with a 'u').
127 Hours -- This far exceeded my expectations. We put it off to last because of the amputation scene. Yup, no surgeon-wannabes in this family. But very pleasantly surprised. The only one of the ten that moved me to real tears. Yet, my "it's ok to cry at TV commercials" wife did not cry. In fact, she summed up why this film won't win with her first question when it ended: "Was that guy right handed?" You have to love her.
The Social Network -- This is my pick for Best Picture of 2011. You know the plot. You know the characters are going to be detestable rich kids that all turned out to be multi-millionaires (and one a billionaire). You know the writers took liberties with the real story. But it is still gripping. You are still invested in the characters, still in pain when they ruthlessly screw one another. You are laughing out loud. You are on FB and know that most everyone else (under the age of 50) is, too, but you are still amazed at how it evolved. That's the sign of a great piece of entertainment. Stammering British royalty defeating Nazism will take the gold, but this picture should've won.
Toy Story 3 -- It's a shame the Oscars are so formulaic, because this should have gotten a nomination in a five-picture field (and we know it wouldn't) and should be a legitimate contender for Best Picture, but we know it's not. Animated or not, this is a wonderful work of art right up there with The Lion King in all-time animated greatness. In a generally soft year for all-time epic pictures, this really could've taken home the trophy and I would've been ok with it -- but like a musician who resents drum machines, DJs and sequencers for putting so many of us out of work, The Academy is idiotically frightened that James Cameron and the Apple Corporation will make them obsolete. Message to the Hollywood Hopeless: Just because we were momentarily turned on by Jessica Rabbit and the Na'vi version of Zoe Saldana, we are not ready to dispense with flesh and blood. Not yet, anyway.
True Grit -- Is Jeff Bridges going to play a drunken, has-been cowboy every year? He does it well, so who cares. I was genuinely concerned about this, only because I loved the original and associated it with John Wayne so much. But the Coen Brothers wisely stayed truer to the novel than the Henry Hathaway version fro 1969. It is told from the point of view of the young girl. And the switch from Glen Campbell to Matt Damon as LaBoeuf is a huge upgrade (cue music: "I am a lineman for The Mounties...") Dragged Donna to this kicking like a bull with hemorrhoids (today's cowboy wisdom: If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain.)
Winter's Bone -- Another expanded category entry. Good movie, though. It was dark and haunting, even though the mystery of the drug-dealing father was guessable for most of the movie. You know it's going to be a tough one, though, for people like Donna when she asks me 20 minutes into it "What's this about, again?" No action thriller or tense courtroom drama, this. Beautifully filmed and acted.
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