Oscar Gets Its JuJu Back
I'm a Philly sports fan (I lead with this fact to elicit sympathy) and even I had to look up "JuJu". I was afraid to say it out loud for fear it was an anti-semitic remark. Turns out it is of West African mythological origin. In Silver Linings Playbook, JuJu is central to the theme. In Philadelphia sports, like karma, JuJu is a bitch. SLP is a good example of the rebound of the Academy Awards. The media have been writing the obit for this show for several years now (if the show were a murdered, 20-something blonde woman, it would've gotten a lot more coverage) thanks to critically acclaimed but "don't need to see THAT again" movies like The Help, A Serious Man, Black Swan -- well, except for 1:07:30-1:09:22.
The Oscars have everything we crave as movie fans this year:
Violence, but in a socially-redeeming setting that doesn't make us look out of touch in a post-Newtown world:
- Django Unchained
- Emancipated slaves make it ok...besides, we stayed awake through Lincoln
- Zero Dark Thirty
- Show me the American who doesn't get choked up when they kill Bin Laden -- wait, you knew that was the point of the movie, right?
Sexy-Time, but in a way that gets us more sex at home, not less:
- Bradley Cooper
- Putting him on the list to look like I'm evolved enough to be comfortable while my wife is squirming in her seat when he's on screen -- hey, I can stop shaving, too!
- Jennifer Lawrence
- Guinness-Book-worthy combination of:
- Just old enough
- No where near that stupid heroin-chic look
- Just a little bit crazy
- Helen "I Can Be Nude The Whole Movie at Age 49" Hunt
- It was completely unnecessary to do the bath scene at the Temple, but telling my wife with sincerity that her birthday suit looks better than HH's got me some
- The tiger in Life of Pi
- So, I got a little caught up in the CGI (f@#$ you, Ang Lee!)
History, the way we imagine it happened:
- Argo
- Thank you for leaving out the emasculating botched rescue attempt with the helicopters crashed in the desert. U-S-A! U-S-A!
- Lincoln
- Yup, this is precisely what we imagined happened (and the reason we stared at Michelle's bra strap for 8 semesters of US History)
- ZDT
- We already knew that torture works when we really need it to.
Justice, and not that stupid store that my daughters wish they lived in:
- Argo
- Finally, proof-positive that everything good that Canada does really comes from US
- Flight
- In the end, brutal honesty (or, if we're being honest with ourselves, our fantasy that, if they'd just let us fly drunk, we could do a 360 in a 747!)
- The Hobbit
- "I told you not to make a fourth movie, you fat, bearded slob!" -- George Lucas
Best Original Screenplay
As I've said previously, this is where the "sleeper" films come from. (Apparently so does the bad grammar.) I've gone back to review many of the Oscar-nominated films from previous years -- the ones that are most worthy of a second (or third or fourth) viewing are the Screenplay noms. Don't believe me? Go watch In the Loop; In Bruges; Inception; In Manhattan. These all have legs. Are you really going to sit through the The Departed again?!?
Amour
I'm sure this is terrific, but the movie industry needs to cut me some slack. My wife is distracted by subtitles (I can count on her to ask "do you like this movie?" 15 minutes into most of them...it's our code for "get me to a sushi bar or make your shoulder into a down pillow and refrain from moving until this is over"). Worse, still, it's in two theaters I can get to by car -- one in Manhattan and one in Camden, so I can pay $60 to see a movie or risk having my car stolen.
Django Unchained
It's a great premise (and I'm a QT fan), but the mash-up concept of everything Quentin has ever liked -- spaghetti westerns; spy movies; dime novels; smarmy German people -- can be a little overwhelming.
Flight
Wonder which movie is grounding more passengers, Flight or Zero Dark Thirty?
Moonrise Kingdom
Clever, quirky movie that we both loved. I loved it because it was off-beat ("You can touch my chest. I, uh... I think they're gonna grow more.") Donna loved it because she caught up on her sleep.
Struggling with the "original" part here. It's more like newspaper transcripts. And wasn't there a Navy Seal book? Still, I suspect "For God and country..." seals the deal.
Best Adapted Screenplay
I lead with the writing categories because this is the area I relate to the most in movies. Think of it as the skill I lack the least -- I am much closer to being a failed writer than I ever was to being a failed actor, director or producer.This is also the "plagiarism is good" category (and we wonder why Thomas Friedman keeps telling us our society is doomed), so it feels like there's a short-cut to get in on this one. U-S-A! U-S-A!
Argo
Some people are upset that the historical context movies took liberties with history. Hey, this ain't no JFK rewrite. Besides, what American doesn't love seeing a bunch of dopey Iranian thugs racing down the runway in a pickup truck watching a 747 take off. U-S-A! U-S-A!
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Clever, quirky, disturbing. Clearly deserving of an award, but likely to walk home empty.
Lincoln
Lovely period piece; amazing performances by Sally Field, Daniel Day Lewis and Tommy Lee Jones. Oh, but this is a writing category. If DDL didn't channel Lincoln so effectively, this wouldn't get a nomination as it was a three-hour movie with two hours of monologue. If Tony Kushner wins a statue, he should just give it to the three principles on a rotating basis.
Life of Pi
This is only cool because Yann Martel, who wrote the book (and makes a fabulous armagnac), is nominated. Clever story, which I had to think about at the end (and, in this case, not just because I'm a dumbass). Winner, winner, Pi dinner.
Silver Linings Playbook
It's got the Eagles. It's got mental illness. It's got superstition. It's got dancing. It's got Upper Darby (which is my favorite part of Darby -- her lower regions have got some hard miles on 'em). No statue because it is too heavy in the people department -- all four acting positions have noms, which hasn't happened since 1981's Reds!
Best Picture
LincolnMight've gotten the statue, but it's a legislative thriller (read: no thrills). The relationship drama between Abe & Mary Todd (along with the struggles with his sons) provide good counterpoint, but this one would be in third or fourth place if such a thing existed (also known as "A F@#$ing Miracle" to the NY Mets).
Life of Pi
In another year, this takes it. But Thomas Friedman has got us good and afraid of India, so a little xenophobia kills any chance here.
Silver Linings Playbook
Best Picture? You make me laugh -- like Silver Linings Playbook! Which is why it won't win. This is the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, for the love of Jebus. It's an ACADEMY (one of Alaina's third-grade vocabulary words, which caused her to ask where these people go to study movie making). And they are both Artists AND Scientists. So these are not a bunch of vapid, self-absorbed beautiful people. It is a collection of modern day Leonardo DaVincis! Of course they can't have a comedy win.
Les Miserables
Qu'ils mangent de la brioche, cause they ain't getting any hardware in this category.
Argo
1979. A nice flashback for the Baby Boomers: you can sit in an AMC theater and remember your AMC Pacer; pop-culture is defined by Donna Summer; Jimmy "Malaise" Carter is president; and a stampede at a rock concert in Cincinnati leads to the creation of the greatest knock-knock joke of all-time:
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Trampled by the."
"Trampled by The Who?"
We remember how much we hated that stupid Ayatollah. Argo wins!
Zero Dark Thirty
News compilation that is well edited (sans the Jon Stewart snippiness). One excellent bad-guy-kill. No statue.
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Interesting. Entertaining. They even avoided the obvious Katrina exploitation opportunity. But this is as much recognition as the Beasts get.
Django Unchained
Mash-Up of all trades, winner of none.
Amour
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizz pie, that's Amour. Sorry...I got nuthin'.
The Other Stuff
Cinematography
Anna Karenina is nominated here. This adaptation of Tolstoy's novel is presented as a theater production inside a movie -- most of the time. Wins the award for the fastest "Do you like this movie?" from Donna.Skyfall was one of the best Bond movies ever, but they gotta give something to 3.14.
Costumes
A period piece full of British accents usually wins. This year is no different. Anna Karenina takes it. Pay no attention to that Russian author and Russian setting behind the movie.
Oscar Show Drinking Game Entry: Over/Under on how fast Donna says "I hated that movie" here, 10 seconds.
Makeup
Throwing dirt all over a bunch of actors is a short-cut (and, in the case of Anne Hathaway, a crime), so no statue for Miz. Suspect The Hobbit will take it just so Peter Jackson doesn't lose his mind and place Jar Jar Binks in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.Film Editing
How do I know who did the best editing without seeing what's on the cutting room floor? I guess we go with the one that gave me the least whiplash during the viewing: Silver Linings Playbook. Loved the jogging scenes when Jennifer Lawrence whooshed on screen -- great job...uh.......people who made Jennifer Lawrence.
Music
Found myself humming the score to Life of Pi when it ended (which was unfortunate, because it was 2AM and my wife couldn't successfully incorporate that tune into her dream), so thinking it will win here. I am a big John Williams fan, but he's got 48 nominations. Time for somebody else, ya big talented hog!
Song
Adele's got this wrapped up (for Skyfall). It's our way of apologising to fat people for taking away their 128 ounce soft drinks in Manhattan.
FX
First, a word on Prometheus (which had amazing FXes...uh, FXing.....FXed well?) I enjoyed this movie, but A) could it have stolen any more stuff from 2001 and B) could it make up its mind if it was a prequel to Alien or not?!? Sheesh!
Seems unlikely that 3.14 will lose here, but a strong showing this year with The Avengers and Hobbit here as well.
Trivia Answer: The biggest "losers," statistically speaking would be 'Becket' (1964) and 'Johnny Belinda' (1948), both of which went 1 (win) for 12 (nominations). The former won its sole Oscar for Best Screenplay, and the latter went home with Best Actress (Jane Wyman). The 1 for 11 club (aka the movies you've actually seen) includes 'Chinatown' (1974, screenplay), 'Mr. Smith Goes to Washington' (1939, original story), and 'The Pride of the Yankees' (1942, editing).
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