25 Random Things About Me

This is from a Facebook exercise that I, at first, found silly then grew to respect because it caused me to spend some time being introspective. Posting it here so it is preserved.

1) I think this is the most narcissistic exercise ever (but, of course, being a disciple of Narcissus, I love it)

2) I am an oenophile. I am fascinated by the process and the multitude of variations in wine. I am also not as good at tasting and identifying different types of wines as I would have people believe.

3) I love the art of cooking (and the subsequent consumption that follows). I am intensely disappointed that we are losing interest in cooking in this country. We love cooking SHOWS, however…which leads me to:

4) Television. I watch far too much of it and refuse to give it up. If you don’t have Tivo, however, you are not watching television 21st century style. Get with the program, people.

5) I love movies, but because I have never been with a partner who shares this passion, I only go see them in January and February in a mad scramble to see every Oscar-nominated film before the award show airs. Weird, I’m aware.

6) I am a master at Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit. Intellectually, I would prefer to be a master chess player, but I am too lazy to put in the required effort to learn that game well.

7) I think the worst abomination created by man is organized religion. Never have so many lives been lost over so many lies created in an attempt to control people. Truly wish people would stop worrying about upsetting their mothers and be rational.

8) Strange things stick with me (my grandmother telling me to “shut up” during a bingo game in Wisconsin; my 2nd grade teacher telling me I didn’t know how to sweep properly; Mr. Yaeger telling me to see him after class in high school; the look on Mary’s face when she said “I love you” and I said “Thanks.”)

9) I am a voracious reader, working at least 3 books at a time and reading in odd places (standing on a subway, in the bathroom), but I don’t read as fast as I’d like.

10) I am a closeted Howard Stern fan. I hate it when he makes fun of people with Downs Syndrome (in fact, I turn it off…don’t think they’re fair targets) but love it when he makes fun of narcissistic celebrities and politicians. Many people don’t realize that much of his material is of the “joke’s on you” nature, ala Stephen Colbert on the Colbert Report.

11) I wish I was a full-time musician. Somewhere along the way, I fell into the “money is important” game and let my true passion drift into hobby status. Shame on me.

12) Politics is broken in this country and it’s the electorate’s fault. We are a bunch of sheep who accept “wisdom” without asking why (like “socialized medicine is bad”; “government is the problem, not the solution”; “a two-party system is a good thing”; “taxes are always bad and we pay too much”). Until we start thinking for ourselves, we will continue to be disappointed in our elected leaders.

13) Drugs should be legalized. We spend a ridiculous amount of money and lose an unacceptable number of lives for no reason at all. Another area where we’ve got to stop accepting conventional wisdom and start thinking for ourselves.

14) Stupidity abounds. I am consistently disappointed by the lack of critical thinking in the world (see numbers 7, 10, 12 and 13).


15) I have always lied to my wife about other women: I look. I like the way women look (including my wife) and I like to appreciate them.

16) I am a geek. No, really. A carful of beautiful girls looking for a party pulled up in front of our beach house in Wildwood, NJ in 1982 and said “Do you guys have papers?” I said “Papers?!? We’re American citizens, we don’t need any papers!” They drove away. I said “I’ve got a hatchback” as a pickup line once. I have always put attempted humour ahead of sex (thus my limited “portfolio” of experiences).

17) My biggest fear is not being loved. I attribute this to being adopted and having the subconscious resentment of my birth mother giving me up. I have an irrational need to be valued in every situation and react badly when I am not viewed as being special.

18) My biggest regret is not treasuring my friends as I should have. I have always valued the wonderful people in my life (and they have been legion), but I take relationships for granted. If you are reading this, I have not told you often enough or clearly enough how terrific I think you are and how much I value you.

19) I have been most fortunate to play with dozens of musicians who were also quality people. Billy Hill, Tony Debonis, Damian Proulx, Paul Maurer, Scott Matheson, Mike Mourounas, Mark Addeo, Cory Harbour, Skip Bailey, Rob Elinson, John Sheridan, Steve Pasierb, Paul Burns…I could go on and on. Most fortunate.

20) Khaled El-Kadi

is the most complex and interesting person I have ever known. Someday I will tell him he’s my best friend, but it frustrates him so much that I will continue to torture him and withhold that compliment. Which leads me to:

21) Michael Guadagno , who has been my best friend for almost 40 years. I wish I was as smart or as worldly as Michael, but don’t tell him I said that.

22) My children are the only truly “good” thing I’ve ever done. I spend every day trying not to screw them up. I will need to try harder.

23) My wife is a truly special person who is capable of amazing things. She makes me wish I was a better husband.

24) My mother is a gift. She found a way to turn her physical difficulties into a positive for me. Everything good that has ever happened to me emanates from her.

25) My father is Job. He has had every physical difficulty known to man but never complains. When we needed money, he took a second job. When that wasn’t enough, he took a third. When I ask him what he wants for Christmas, he always says the same thing: “Buy something for your mother”. When I stayed out beyond my curfew, he waited up to be sure I was ok. He was so frustrated with my behavior that all he could muster was “What do you….come home…..LATE?!?” I love him and respect him deeply and I will never live up to his example.